Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Frozen in Fear

We are having a really weird weather day. At noon it was warm, clear blue sky with wispy white clouds…by 1:30 it was dark, heavy storm clouds, wind, and pounding rain. That’s why they say “This is Washington, if you don’t like the weather wait a few minutes it will change!” True enough today!

On another note…I’ve been thinking a lot about this thing I do. I’ve referenced this before here and here,but I have been taking it out and really having a good look at it and I am determined to deal with it and move forward without it. After setting a goal, I’m really excited about it. I can even make really great progress toward the goal. As I approach either completion or a hard spot…when I’m right at the most critical moment I sabotage myself, and eventually give up. Why do I do that I ask myself?

I believe it is a fear of failure. Sitting with that a moment…letting that sink in…feeling the heat rise to my cheeks and my heart begin to race. It’s really intense for me to even type those words. I feel light-headed. Fear of failure. FEAR of failure. Fear of FAILURE. 3 words…3 powerful words.

Strangely I think I am just as afraid to succeed!?!

What I know to be true: 2 Timothy 1:7 “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.” I need to ruminate more. J.

1 comment:

  1. That is one of my very favorite verses and very dear to my heart. I think my fear of failure is the number one thing stopping me from doing ANYTHING in my life, and sometimes fear of success can be scary too. Thanks for the reminder I needed to get my butt in gear about some things. <3 Love you Jeanne.