Thursday, January 26, 2012

Using vs Saving

I've been thinking a lot about stuff lately.  I'm in a purging mood.  One of the things I've noticed about myself is that I tend to save things to use on special occasions...like the "good" towels that we received as a wedding gift that sat in the cupboard and eventually were given away because I never used them, or the pretty yellow candle, or the little bit of china we got as wedding gifts.  In the end I find I never get to using these special items because the time is never "special" enough.  The other day I saw the pretty yellow candle sitting on my dresser and thought...dang that has got to be 4 years old and it is still in it's plastic wrap.  What am I thinking!?!  What good is this candle if I never light it?!? So I took it out and used it.  Lighting that candle on my dresser has brought me many smiles...something about seeing that flame flashing back and forth makes me happy. From now on I am going to use my stuff now rather than saving things for that ethereal special moment.  Stuff is meant to be used.  I'm special enough to use the good towels, our wedding china, the pretty yellow candle and everything else that I have.  If not...then I shouldn't have it.  J.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Dreaming/Wishing

"I'm wishing(I'm wishing) For the one I love, To find me(to find me), Today(today), I'm hoping(I'm hoping), and I'm dreaming of, the nice things(the nice things), He'll say(he'll say)"  Can't you just hear Snow White's high pitched warbling voice singing this into her wishing well?!? 

I've been thinking a lot about wishing, and dreaming.  As I've said before my 50 Before 50 has awakened in me a hope, an anticipation.  And sadly what I've realized is that I've spent much of my adult life wishing I were something, or someone other than myself, not consciously, but in so many ways.  For example, I wish that I liked beer....it sounds so refreshing when others say that after a long hard project they sit down with a beer.  It's just not that way for me.  I have spent my entire life wishing I was naturally thin...I am not.  Obesity runs in my family...this doesn't mean I have to be obese, it just means that I struggle with it.  And in addition to that I'm just built broad....I have broad shoulders, and hips.  No matter how much I wish that wasn't the case...It is.  A year ago I cut my hair short into a style that I could wear it messy and with attitude but it just never really fit me.  I was trying to be someone else.  I love my short hair...worn the way that fits just right...in a Jeanne way. 

My coworker is planning her family's dream vacation...an all-inclusive trip to Cancun.  It all seems so Hollywood and just like what the famous people do.  Part of me wishes that sounded good to me...but it doesn't.  I'm so happy for them, and that's great for her, for them...because it fits them.  But that would make me crazy!  Our perfect vacation always includes seclusion from people and busy.  It always includes quiet, unscheduled down time.  Time just to relax and breathe.  (more on this very soon)

In the last 6 months I have finally learned that I am who I am...and I love that!  Dreaming my own dream fits, it feels like freedom, and it stirs up an excitement in me that hasn't been stirred up in very long time.  So...let's toast(I'm raising my rum and coke...because that's what I love) to understanding and being ourselves...just the way God uniquely made us. J.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Update(with Changes) 50 Before 50 - 01/21/12

From the beginning I have said that I reserve the right to swap out for something better and that is what I am doing today.  The more I thought about doing a couple of them, the less I wanted to. 

Oh, and for the record I intend to accomplish the following in 2012:  #'s  9, 10, 16, 23, 26, 30, 33, 34, 38, 41, and 47.  I will begin working toward #'s 3, 4, 6, 15, 39, and 43

So with out further adieu(whatever that means.)


Drum Roll Please...........................
Here is my changed and updated 50 Before 50 list:

This is my 50 Before 50 list(in no particular order). These are things I want to accomplish/do before I turn 50 in 5 years. I reserve the right to swap out for something better. :) Some of my choices might raise eyebrows, but I hope you understand the lightheartedness with which I put this list together...purposing to step outside my comfort zone as much as possible, stretch, and grow as a person/woman. Feel free to laugh! Enjoy! JH


1. Get a Passport

2. Gallop a horse along a beach

3. Become a runner – Run a 5K to prove it.

4. Learn to be a friendly neighbor

5. See the Northern Lights

6. Learn to rock a hula hoop

7. Cloister alone for a weekend – speak to no human

8. Go fishing for the first time

9. Find a Sushi I like

10. Lose 30 pounds(I'm back down 7...YEAH!)

11. Visit Mt. Rainier

12. Pay for the meal of the person behind me in the drivethrough

13. Make Pottery on a wheel

14. Kiss at the top of the Empire State Building

15. Take Guitar lessons – Play a song for someone to prove it.

16. Get a Brazillian Wax

17. Surprise a friend (08/29/11 - Surprised my friend Peggy on her 47th birthday. 21 of us gathered at our local Taco Time to show Peggy how loved she is. Happy Birthday my dear friend! I love you!)

18. Surprise myself

19. Have a drink at Starbucks on the 40th floor of the Columbia tower (2nd highest Starbucks in the world) (watch for an upcoming post on this)

20. Buy a Serger and learn how to use it.

21. Find a red wine I enjoy Sorry Red wine...I don't like you.  #21 is now:  Buy and use Snow Shoes

22. Sky dive

23. Ride in a helicopter

24. Volunteer at Children’s Hospital

25. Take a swim class – learn Swimmer’s breathing and End of lane Flip

26. Ride a zip line – in an exotic place

27. Read the Bible straight through in a weekend. I don't feel like this quick skim gives the reverence this is due.  #27 is now: Devote an entire weekend to serving others.

28. Go river rafting

29. Hike by moon light

30. Wear a real flower lei in Hawaii

31. Take a class about the Stock Market

32. Remove my Age spot

33. Ride a Jet ski

34. Snorkel off a tropical island

35. Take Piano lessons

36. Get a tattoo

37. Take an art class

38. Learn to surf 

39. Master Crocheting(watch for an upcoming post on this one)

40. Dance like no one is watching

41. Learn to eat proficiently with chopsticks

42. Go Vegetarian for a month  I have decided I love meat too much to forsake it for that long #42 is now: Learn to Tango - Perform for an audience. 

43. Build a dining room table (and chairs?)

44. See an Opera

45. Take a Spanish Class

46. Knit something for myself with “expensive” yarn

47. Skinny dip

48. Take a flower arranging class

49. Treat myself to a spa weekend

50. Ice Skate at Rockefeller Center


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Snow Days

It has snowed for how many days....let's see...6 days now. The first few days it was a couple of inches all toled, and then Wednesday we had a full on weather event, and it hasn't stopped snowing since. 


It's easy to forget even what day of the week it is when something like an extended snow is going on.


It snowed so much that we've had two snow days off from work...and we are not sure about tomorrow.


Last Fall, Timothy and Hannah trained for and joined the City of Everett's CERT(Community Emergency Response Team.)  This means that when anything like a major earthquake, or snow storm happens they are mobilized to help assess and take care of any problems in their designated area.  They are the only two for our neighborhood of Lowell.  This means that when this snow storm hit Timothy had to make an assessment of our neighborhood and report back to the city's Emergency center.  So we got up early and walked the entire neighborhood, tracking how much snowfall we had, looking for fallen trees, wires down, isolated sections of the neighborhood, anyone in need of help etc.  What fun it was to take this morning walk in the beautiful snow!


Then in the afternoon the real fun began! We tubed our hill!

Esther and Daphne liked to go down backward...well not really, but they did it a lot! Esther's first jump onto the tube was one for the books...she bounced right off and face planted into the snow.  SO funny!



Hannah went every which way, belly, back, sitting, flipping etc.

Peter mostly stood at the bottom of our section of the hill watching for cars and tackling I mean catching us so that we didn't go too far.  OUCH!

But he did take a few trips down the hill.

Peter's friend Andy is the flying leap kind...he literally flew down that hill!


Timothy made the funniest looks when he was going down the hill.


It was such fun!  It's been years and years since I went tubing...It was absolutely invigorating! 


The weather man says that it is going to transition to warmer rain tomorrow, but while it was here we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!  J.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Struggle for Friendliness

In an attempt to work on #4 on my 50 Before 50 - Learn to Be a Friendly Neighbor, I've been thinking a lot about friendliness, being a friend, and who is my neighbor.  The other day I had a very random craving for Pop Tarts, something I haven't eaten for probably 5 years.  When a random craving comes I indulge, because...why not?  A girl should be allowed to eat Pop Tarts once every 5 years right???  So I got up from my desk, put my coat on, and walked up the hill to the mini mart and bought some.  It was a misty morning and on my way back to work, while standing at the busy street corner waiting for the walk sign to blink my way, a woman walked up and stood beside me.  Now...I literally caught myself looking up at her, smiling, and looking away.  I immediately turned to her and said.  "It's a lovely day for walking...just enough mist to be refreshing, not enough to soak a person."  She laughed and the conversation went from there.  We walked a block together talking.  After she turned away to her destination, I took stock.  My thoughts...That was a pleasant interlude in the day.  My next thought...I will likely never see her again.  So why did I need to be friendly to her?  This interaction impacted me, and I'm sure it did her as well.  Just the act of talking in a friendly way was encouraging.  It lifted my spirits and made me smile.  Pushing myself to reach out to a complete stranger with just a few kind words helped me to understand why Timothy talks to everyone he sees.  Viewing these types of interactions as an opportunity to encourage and lift the spirits of not just them but even of myself motivates me. 

The problem...it doesn't always go well.  We've all spoken before thinking, and I'm sure have been the recipient of this as well.  So often our intentions are right, but what comes out of our mouths doesn't come across as we intend it.  The other day I was standing with a woman at church, she has stage 4 cancer and said something that threw me.  "I know I'm terminal..."  I don't even remember why this came up in this way, but I stammered and didn't know what to say so I said the dumbest of things...  "We all are terminal."  ACH!  I sometimes wish I had a zipper on my lips.  I can go on and on with examples of how I've said stupid things.

A number of years ago a co-worker of Timothy's asked him to be a groomsmen in his wedding.  With this honor came many social get togethers and so on.  The couple invited us to their new house with the rest of the wedding party.  As it turned out everyone else knew each other, and frankly were probably 12 years younger than us, and in very different stages in life. So the guys went upstairs to the game room...a place with two huge t.v.'s side by side and a cool place where several could play video games together.  That left the bride and her closest friends...and me...painfully out of place.  At one point she said something to the effect of "Let's go upstairs I want to show you something"  then she very politely turned to me and said:  "Jeanne, I'm sorry, I don't quite know what to do with you."  I smiled and said:  "I'll be just fine right here."  Can you say AWKWARD!!!  Her intent was kind, but it was obvious I was pretty much in the way. 

I know that I will not execute each interaction perfectly...nor will the other person...grace and honesty will need to rule in those moments.  But as I step out of my comfort zone and concertedly try to encourage those God so graciously brings into my life, I will push myself to see each person with eternal eyes, and each opportunity as given by God.  Lord may I be more like You!  J.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Now is Now

I love to look at old pictures, and to remember the exact look on one of the kids faces, or the laughing until our sides ached.  And other times I imagine what it will be like when Eva can sing along with me when I sing a song, or I can imagine a time when Timothy and I are really old, still walking hand in hand....those hands covered in fragile, very wrinkled skin. 

And then there are other times, when I am acutely aware of every thing about right now...this very moment.  That's how it is tonight.  Maybe because Timothy and I have literally been in bed sick for two days(I teased him and said our laying in bed reminded me of the old people in Charlie and Chocolate Factory, how they just laid in bed all day), but I'm thinking about everything, everyone, and I'm emotional, really emotional.  I'm thinking about how much I love and cherish my Parents, and am sad that they are aging, that we all are aging.  I feel a bit of fear about the possibility of losing Timothy somehow, sooner rather than later...for some unexpected reason.  I'm not borrowing trouble here...just holding on a little tighter tonight.  Loving a little more intensely.  Appreciating, and savoring those I hold the dearest. 

What I'm feeling is a realization that now is now.  I don't want to live in the past, or long so much for a different future.  I want to love that our house is full to overflowing.  I want to look past the mess, to appreciate the pile of people watching t.v. in my livingroom.  I want to soak in all the noises, voices, and warmth of those who are the loves of my life.  I want to bask in right now, right now.  J.

#36 Get a Tattoo

I will bet that when many of you read my last post, the update to my 50 Before 50 you gasped when you read that I had actually gotten a tattoo

I know! CRAZY!!!

It is SO far outside my normal that I still smile about it when I see it, or think about it. 


Even more shocking...


TIMOTHY GOT ONE TOO!!!!  :) 


In preparation for my 50 Before 50 I thought a LOT about getting a tattoo.  Neither Timothy nor I are huge fans of being covered in tattoos, and I could never think of anything I wanted permanently written on my body...but I came up with an idea that I knew would work for us.  SO...to permanently commemorate our 25th anniversary on 12/6/11 we got matching tattoos. 





CHECK....IT....OUT!!!








This was the funniest, most outside the box thing we've EVER done.  We are SO glad we did it!  Great way to celebrate our 25th!  T and J. 

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

50 Before 50 - Update 01/11/12

Some exciting things have been crossed off my list.  I will share the details of each coming up soon.  What I have realized after some reflection is that this 50 Before 50 list, as frivilous and silly as some of it is, has caused me to look forward, plan, and enjoy anticipation in a way I haven't for years.  It's been a fabulous experience!  I look forward with excited anticipation at all that is left.  OH!  and as I said...I reserve the right to swap out one for something better...and I will be doing that very soon.  I turned 45 in December...that means I only have 5 years left...I better get busy!  J. 

So here it is...my updated 50 Before 50 list:


This is my 50 Before 50 list(in no particular order). These are things I want to accomplish/do before I turn 50 in 5 years. I reserve the right to swap out for something better. :) Some of my choices might raise eyebrows, but I hope you understand the lightheartedness with which I put this list together...purposing to step outside my comfort zone as much as possible, stretch, and grow as a person/woman. Feel free to laugh! Enjoy! JH


1. Get a Passport

2. Gallop a horse along a beach

3. Become a runner – Run a 5K to prove it.

4. Learn to be a friendly neighbor

5. See the Northern Lights

6. Learn to rock a hula hoop(I have them, one for me and one for Hannah...soon)

7. Cloister alone for a weekend – speak to no human

8. Go fishing for the first time

9. Find a Sushi I like(working on this one...more on this later)

10. Lose 30 pounds(unfortunately as is standard for me the 6 I lost have found their way back...but I'm not giving up!)

11. Visit Mt. Rainier

12. Pay for the meal of the person behind me in the drivethrough

13. Make Pottery on a wheel

14. Kiss at the top of the Empire State Building

15. Take Guitar lessons – Play a song for someone to prove it.

16. Get a Brazillian Wax

17. Surprise a friend (08/29/11 - Surprised my friend Peggy on her 47th birthday. 21 of us gathered at our local Taco Time to show Peggy how loved she is. Happy Birthday my dear friend! I love you!)

18. Surprise myself

19. Have a drink at Starbucks on the 40th floor of the Columbia tower (2nd highest Starbucks in the world) (watch for an upcoming post on this)

20. Buy a Serger and learn how to use it.

21. Find a red wine I enjoy(more on this in an upcoming post)

22. Sky dive

23. Ride in a helicopter

24. Volunteer at Children’s Hospital

25. Take a swim class – learn Swimmer’s breathing and End of lane Flip

26. Ride a zip line – in an exotic place

27. Read the Bible straight through in a weekend.

28. Go river rafting

29. Hike by moon light

30. Wear a real flower lei in Hawaii

31. Take a class about the Stock Market

32. Remove my Age spot

33. Ride a Jet ski

34. Snorkel off a tropical island

35. Take Piano lessons

36. Get a tattoo(YES I ACTUALLY DID IT!!!  Watch for an upcoming post about it)

37. Take an art class

38. Learn to surf

39. Master Crocheting(watch for an upcoming post on this one)

40. Dance like no one is watching

41. Learn to eat proficiently with chopsticks(I've bought them...and have begun working on it...can you say awkward?!?)

42. Go Vegetarian for a month

43. Build a dining room table (and chairs?)

44. See an Opera

45. Take a Spanish Class

46. Knit something for myself with “expensive” yarn

47. Skinny dip

48. Take a flower arranging class

49. Treat myself to a spa weekend

50. Ice Skate at Rockefeller Center

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Blogging Barriers

Last year I averaged about 3-4 blog posts a month...until October.  In October our household changed.  We added 3 members, and while it's especially wonderful to have little Missy Eva around...the changes have had a stifling affect for me.  A.  I want to play with our precious girlie any opportunity I have because I know this time is finite...they won't be here forever.  B.  The atmosphere is so different that I can't focus, or concentrate.  The T.V. is almost always on, and set to something that I wouldn't choose, nor do I wish to watch, there is tension, and if I hole myself up in my room, to work on a project, it is viewed as unfriendly and standoffish.  Chaos does not equal creativity to me.  It's hard for me to overcome.  Blogging isn't the only place affected by this, but it is definitely one.  I'm trying to find a way to do the things I want and need to do, while not offending others.  It's been tough.  But I'm determined to push through this, because there are things I want to do...blogging being one of them.

In the next week I intend to:

Update my 50 Before 50 - there are some pretty exciting and unbelievable things completed.  :) 
Show you what we've been up to lately
Post some of our goals for 2012

So that's my contribution for today...a little honest assessment of why it's been so difficult for me to blog.
May you all have a blessed Lord's Day!  J.

Monday, January 2, 2012

As Time Goes By

Hello 2012!!!  2011 was a sleeper of a year...started a little slow and finished like a pro!  I loved it!  That said I'm not sad to see it go, I embrace and look forward to 2012.  There are many things left to say about 2011, and much more looking forward that I would like to do.  Stay tuned, because one of my resolutions for 2012 is to blog more.  Happy New Year!!!  J.