I had dinner with a friend last night. During our time it came up in discussion that though we are both very happily married we struggle with not allowing our moods be affected by the moods of our husbands. We find ourselves taking on, or matching their moods whatever that may be, negative, gloomy, frustrated, angry, brooding...or fill in the blank. I'm sure this is common and I'm sure goes both ways in a marriage.
My friend is very smart...she gave me some ideas that I am going to try and see if they work for me. She said she asked her husband to say is this work or home related...so if she picks up on some mood she might say: "Hey are you all right?" and he will respond...yes just work stuff. She now knows that there isn't an outstanding issue that needs resolving between the two of them, and it also causes him to be aware that he may be coming across different than he may have wanted to. Also she said sometimes she just separates herself for a little while...going to a different room to take a bath, check email or whatever. This gives him the space to work through whatever he is processing, and allows her to maintain her peaceful and happy mood.
Robert Louis Stevenson said "The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the domination of outward conditions."
Learning to maintain my mood or happiness in spite of others or circumstances is one of my goals for 2011.
J.
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