"I'm wishing(I'm wishing) For the one I love, To find me(to find me), Today(today), I'm hoping(I'm hoping), and I'm dreaming of, the nice things(the nice things), He'll say(he'll say)" Can't you just hear Snow White's high pitched warbling voice singing this into her wishing well?!?
I've been thinking a lot about wishing, and dreaming. As I've said before my 50 Before 50 has awakened in me a hope, an anticipation. And sadly what I've realized is that I've spent much of my adult life wishing I were something, or someone other than myself, not consciously, but in so many ways. For example, I wish that I liked beer....it sounds so refreshing when others say that after a long hard project they sit down with a beer. It's just not that way for me. I have spent my entire life wishing I was naturally thin...I am not. Obesity runs in my family...this doesn't mean I have to be obese, it just means that I struggle with it. And in addition to that I'm just built broad....I have broad shoulders, and hips. No matter how much I wish that wasn't the case...It is. A year ago I cut my hair short into a style that I could wear it messy and with attitude but it just never really fit me. I was trying to be someone else. I love my short hair...worn the way that fits just right...in a Jeanne way.
My coworker is planning her family's dream vacation...an all-inclusive trip to Cancun. It all seems so Hollywood and just like what the famous people do. Part of me wishes that sounded good to me...but it doesn't. I'm so happy for them, and that's great for her, for them...because it fits them. But that would make me crazy! Our perfect vacation always includes seclusion from people and busy. It always includes quiet, unscheduled down time. Time just to relax and breathe. (more on this very soon)
In the last 6 months I have finally learned that I am who I am...and I love that! Dreaming my own dream fits, it feels like freedom, and it stirs up an excitement in me that hasn't been stirred up in very long time. So...let's toast(I'm raising my rum and coke...because that's what I love) to understanding and being ourselves...just the way God uniquely made us. J.