Friday, April 27, 2012


I've been in a funk lately...thus no blog posts.  Posting negativity, or Debby downer thoughts is not something I want to do.  And though I can sort my way through the heavy hearted to "preach the gospel" to myself it's hard for me to express with words in a way that is honest and hopeful as opposed to gloomy, sad, and depressing. 

The last few weeks have been ordinary, every day things...joys and annoyances alike. 

Struggling emotionally has frozen my ability to accomplish the goals I've put before me.  The sweater sits unfinished, I have yet again started my running program at week one...for the 3rd time(this delay due to physical injury,) and just when I began to catch my stride with my guitar playing I've not even touched it for 3 weeks. 

Sad.  Sad best describes how I feel.  I wake up in the morning and I can barely drag myself out of bed.  And when I do get started I have to pull myself along.  Picking out clothes for the day is the worst.  Nothing inspires.  I'm behind in literally everything I have going.  There is no energy, focus, drive...and even the usual things won't motivate me.  Maybe it's attitude but every effort seems so difficult, labored even. 

Is it depression?  Maybe.  Is it frustration?  Most definitely.  Things are not as I want them to be.  And though I can fix some things...I don't. 

This seems to be the end of the post...I'm done.  I've done what I came get it out there...outside of myself...and take the first step back to posting. But I refuse to leave it there as if that is the bottom line. 

This is a momentary phase.  I know myself...this too shall pass.  Staying here is not an option. 

Though I may be struggling right now...I know that God is not.  John 14:1 – Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.

Though I can't seem to finish anything...God will:  Philippians 1:6 – being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
And THAT is the bottom line.  J.

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